Tuesday, August 27, 2013

The Ballad of Life and Hope

"Where there is life, there is hope."
I received this quote out of the blue in a text message recently. It came with almost perfect timing in a moment where I felt crippled with hopelessness. Since I received these words, I've been constantly dwelling on them, dissecting them, and further figuring out how they apply to my own circumstances. (Because nothing is ever that simple with me.)

It's such a simple equation. Life equals hope, and vice versa. But, what if you look at it from an alternate perspective? Where there is not life, what is there? I know it's said that hope is present in every single situation and circumstance. And almost all of the time, I would agree.

Let's do a little dissecting for a moment, starting with hope. Hope is described as an expectation, a desire, or a yearning for something to happen. It's a grounds for believing in something good. It's a feeling of trust.

I don't want anyone to think for a second that I'm saying hope is bad. I strongly believe that hope is a good thing, maybe even the best of things. (Not to go quoting The Shawshank Redemption) Sometimes we hope for things to happen that are completely out of our control. But, what about the things we actually have some control over?

Now, let's shift our focus on the life part for a second. Life in general is described as the period of time between birth and death of any living being. But sometimes, I view life in a slightly different sense.

There's another saying that I've come to embrace quite recently. "Movement equals life." For me, life is moving, doing, taking action towards the things you have control over.

Where there is movement, there is life. And once again (Say it with me if you wish), where there is life, there is hope. 
Movement = Life = Hope
Sometimes, hope is useless without trying, without taking action, without moving towards something. I could hope all day long that people would invest their time and read this blog. But, I can't expect that to happen if I remain inactive for weeks at a time and don't put any effort into making it something worth investing in.

When I received this particular text message, I was smack-dab in the middle of a rough weekend. There was some stuff I had control over, and there was some stuff I didn't. I was feeling defeated, and I was ready to completely give up on everything.

But now, I attribute that feeling to being stagnant and even a little bit lazy. Maybe I didn't know how to move forward with the things I had control over, or maybe I just forgot what it meant to be alive, to move, to take action.

Maybe you're reading this post and you just need a text message like this sent your way. Maybe you need a reminder that there is hope, or maybe you just need a call to action. Just remember, hope requires life, and life requires movement.

My ultimate advice to you right now; Realize what is and is not in your control. For the things that are, take action, move, push forward and hope for the best!
  
                                                                             
 

Wednesday, August 7, 2013

Flat Horizons

Do you ever feel like you don't really have anything substantial to offer in certain areas? Maybe you're apart of a group or community and you feel like your energy, talents, and abilities just don't measure up to those around you. If so, you're not alone. If not, then why aren't you the one writing a blog?

Lately I've been dealing with the question of what I have to offer as a person in relationships, in a workplace, and in terms of talent. I assume that's just an inevitability when you move to a big city with an excess of talented, energetic, extroversive individuals. They're everywhere. And they're watching... Always watching. 


I am now living in a place where you have to know who you are and what you have to offer. Otherwise, you'll be trampled over, left in the dust, and no one will ever know you we're even here. It's a scary truth and it's something I hate dwelling on. Nevertheless, it makes for good motivation to keep soul searching. But then comes the question, "What happens if you don't find anything or if you don't like what you do find?"

There are some relationships I'm involved in where I'm mostly just a listener. I've mentioned before that I consider myself a soft-spoken individual, and sometimes it really is because I just don't have anything to say. But sometimes I don't say anything because maybe I feel like what I have to say just isn't that relevant or important. The worst part about bottling up what I have to say this is that it makes me feel like a taker rather than a giver. It makes me feel like the link that just doesn't measure up to the rest. It makes me feel like wasted space.


I fully understand what it's like when you feel as though you have nothing important to share or offer. Most of the time you feel stagnant, without passion, and maybe a little bit hopeless. But in all honesty, when you really dig deep, I think you'll find that it's just voices in your head screaming exactly what you don't want to hear. Voices that lie to you and tell you that there's nothing to give. The choice we all have is whether or not to believe what they say.

I remember my road trip out to California. The second day of my trip, I went from Fort Worth, Texas to Tuscon, Arizona. The first seven and a half hours were spent driving through the flat, dry plains of West Texas. It's desolate, barren, and for lack of a better word, boring. There was absolutely nothing between me and the horizon. As time passed, I felt myself growing more fatigued and drained of energy. I was almost ready to give up.

But then eventually, right before I-20 merges with I-10, I saw a mountain rising out of the horizon miles away. It was something new and interesting to look at. I started to get excited, and that excitement gave me energy. Before too long, the drab landscape transitioned into a mountainous desert with some of the most beautiful, dramatic, rolling valleys I had ever seen. It may not sound that interesting, but for someone who has never seen the desert and had just spent hours driving across the plains, it was a breath of fresh air. It was something that the land had to offer.


                                                                             


                                                                             

I know I'm probably stretching this way too thin, but sometimes I feel a little like West Texas; Flat, desolate, uninteresting. There's plenty of space, but it's all wasted. It's got nothing to offer. It's nothing but flat horizons.

Then again, maybe my issue isn't that I don't have anything to offer. Maybe I feel that what I have to offer just isn't good enough to share. That is, unfortunately, much worse. I'm keeping whatever mountains I have buried beneath the horizons. It's cowardly and it's selfish. And if this is you too, then you could be robbing the earth of its greatest, most beautiful landscape. No matter what you have, if you keep it bottled up inside, your horizons will always remain flat.

The truth is that, unlike West Texas, we can always change if we so choose. We can find something to offer, or in my case, the courage to share what we already have. For the longest time, I chose not to tell anyone about this blog, but now I choose to share it. Even if it's not as good as I would like to think it is or if it just seems like the aimless ramblings of an over-thinker, it's still something I've taken hold of and have chosen to offer. I know that sometimes you may feel like you have nothing to share, but do you really and truly believe it?

I'm an introvert that wants to be an extrovert. I'm a wallflower that wants to dance in the middle of the floor. I don't want to be afraid to share what I have. So what's stopping me? I can make excuses all day, but the fact of the matter is that nothing is stopping me. I
 just have to keep driving and hope that my own mountains will appear.

So, if there's one thing you should take away from this post; Sometimes it doesn't matter what you have to offer, just so long as you offer something. Don't worry about how well you do, just go do. You will find your strengths, you'll find courage and confidence, and eventually the mountains will rise out of your horizon.

And if there's a second thing you should take away from this post; Don't be flat, don't be barren, don't be boring, don't be West Texas!


                                                                              

Sunday, August 4, 2013

Live Alive: Walk It Off

If you were to ask me what my go-to stress reliever would be, I would almost always respond with long morning walks/runs. Or as I also like to call them, The Perfect Alternative to Xanax.

For most people, walking or running is an easy exercise, a decent way to keep your heart healthy, or a cheap way to mingle with and/or impress the opposite sex. For me, it's a sense of liberation (and maybe just a little bit of the latter). It's a chance to clear my mind and be free of my problems just for a little while. It's something that helps me feel alive.

When I run, I feel unrestrained, like nothing can hold me back. That is until I run out of breath and collapse on the nearest park bench. There's something that's just so freeing and invigorating about the feeling of my feet pounding on the pavement, my legs burning from being pushed to their limits, and my heart feeling like it's on the verge of exploding. I promise I'm not a masochist.

I'll just go on record and confess that from time to time I do over think things and I do get a little anxious. Sue me if you wish. Whenever I have moments where my anxiety keeps me from moving forward, I go on a walk. When it's just me, the road, and my favorite music playing in my ears, it is all good. I don't worry, I think clearly, and that's when I have some of my most profound moments.

When I was in the process of deciding whether or not to move to Los Angeles, I went on a lot of long walks. It would always clear my mind of all the negativity and help me think about the best ways I could move forward and really live my life. 

I've maintained the habit of walking since I've started living in the big city, and there are some big differences that have been a little difficult to get used to. In Georgia, I could have gone on a long run without ever seeing another human being; Complete solitude. Here, I can't go on a run without almost getting hit by cars. Just another one of the world's strange and fickle inconsistencies.

                                                                           
MY ULTIMATE RUNNING PLAYLIST
(At least for this week) 
FOR BRISK WALKING
• "The Weight" by The Band
• "Two Fingers" by Jake Bugg
• "My Doorbell" by The White Stripes
• "Take a Walk" by Passion Pit

FOR LIGHT JOGGING

• "Fortunate Son" by Creedance Clearwater Revival
• "Power Hungry Animals" by The Apache Relay
• "Heroes" by David Bowie
• "Ghosts" by The Head and the Heart

FOR RUNNING FROM THE DEVIL
• "Gimme Shelter" by The Rolling Stones
• "Where the Streets Have No Names" by U2
• "Go Your Own Way" by Fleetwood Mac 
• "Iris" by The Goo Goo Dolls
                                                                            

Though for most people it may just be a simple workout, for me it's a moment to let go of my worries and run free. And that's something that makes me feel alive. The toned glutes and calf muscles are just an added bonus. I know it's tough not to worry about certain things, but we need these moments in our lives where we can just forget. Otherwise, we drive ourselves crazy.

If you're ever unsure of how to start those days where you feel like there's too much to do, start with a walk. If you ever have moments when you start to over think or worry about things, take a walk. If anxiety ever starts to creep in, run and don't ever look back!

The sidewalk beckons. Walk it off. Live alive.